Valentine’s Day – an emotional day for many, no matter what your relationship status is.
Recent years have seen the celebrations extended to celebrate singledom too, mainly in the form of Single’s Awareness Day on the 15th February (the day after Valentine’s Day). But what about those who are heartbroken?
Whilst it’s undeniable that there are benefits to celebrating singledom the day after those in relationships have indulged their other halves (we’re thinking mainly of discounted chocolates) this may be too much for those who are finding it difficult to recover from a recent break up. The reality is, some of us are struggling to get our heads around being single, let alone to celebrate it.
Whether you’re recently separated or divorced, you’re struggling to get over an ex or you’re someone who finds yourself frequently looking backwards towards an ended relationship, there are many ways in which storytelling can help us overcome heartbreak.
We’ve picked out four, which explain how telling your story can help you to overcome this difficult period in your life.
Storytelling can help us to feel less isolated
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A release of emotion
When we experience heartache, there is a blend of emotional stress; an enormous mixture of emotions, and in some cases an almost unbearable sensation of confusion and loss. As we attempt to make sense of what has happened, we can flit between a wide range of emotions from feeling angry, to empowered, to insecure and downright depressed. It can be exhausting and consuming, and in many cases overwhelming. By writing down what has happened, we can release some of these pent up feelings, giving ourselves more space to breathe.
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It stops us going back to our ex
A common theme and one which most of us are guilty of saying at one point or another after a relationship has ended is ‘I just want closure’ – a seemingly innocent and proactive way to draw a line under things and leave them on the footing we desire. Alternatively, we may wish to know what we did ‘wrong’ in the relationship, in a bid to attempt to repair it. Either way, it’s often best avoided as it’s likely to lead to unnecessary further pain and anguish. By looking back and writing things down in chronological order, we can start to make sense of the events that took place, without opening ourselves up to further hurt. We can start to understand how the breakup evolved and what the catalysts were in certain decision making processes. It also helps us to see more clearly how rational these decisions and the behaviour of the people involved were (ourselves included). The benefits of this are that we gain a clearer understanding of what happened and are able to begin to reflect on what has brought us to the point we’re at now, without going back to our ex.
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It helps us to feel less isolated
Even when we have a great support network around us, navigating our way through heartbreak can feel isolating. Often it feels as though it is our pain to bear alone and it can be frustrating to feel like everything around us is continuing as usual, when we are going through such a monumental shift. By sharing our story, we can find greater connection to the world around us and to tackle some of the feelings of isolation.
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A Two Way Process
As we pass through the phases of heartbreak and learn more about ourselves and how to overcome it, we can gain additional healing by sharing this with others going through a similar experience. By sharing our story with others, it makes our hardship feel more tolerable – in the know that we aren’t the only ones going through it and that what we have learnt it is going to help someone else too.
Storytelling can help us to release pent up emotions
Overall, writing our story can be beneficial at any stage of heartbreak and is something that we can write at any time, or multiple times, as our mindset changes and we begin to heal. It can also be a useful reference point for us to look back on and see that we are making progress – something which may be difficult to see when we’re still feeling the effects of heartbreak months after a breakup.
If you think sharing your story can help you or someone you know to overcome heartbreak, you can do so via the Share Stories page.
If you’d like to read other people’s stories about heartbreak, you can do so here.