Guardian Homepage: https://www.theguardian.com/
A Guardian guest story written by Michael Segalov, from the story of Robyn, 30, project co-ordinator, Bristol.
When Boris Johnson announced lockdown, I re-downloaded [dating app] Hinge in a panic. A week earlier I’d decided I was done with online dating. I’d try to meet someone in real life. Then my plans were scuppered. It’s weird to be single and know you won’t meet anyone new for ages – being certain there’ll be no one to be close to as things get worse.
Going through the profiles, most of the bios felt irrelevant: you like coffee and going to the gym? Not any more. Already some were adapting to this weird new world. Ideal first date? Quarantine and chill. What do you look for in a partner? No tight chest, cough or high fever.
I’m not sure what I was looking for. Someone to help me get through this uncertainty? Something to pass the time? Even if I did find someone, it could be months until I ever met them. Surely the novelty would wear off.
It was a relief to remember small talk when I started chatting. After speaking with one guy for a while he suggested we have a video date. Not seeing his face, keeping that air of mystery, was exciting. “Let’s have a phone date to start,” I replied. It’s like a quick drink – you don’t want to commit and there’s potential to build some anticipation.
I realised as soon as he rang how much I usually rely on first-date flirtation. How I value smells and touch, and how kindly a potential partner treats strangers. We had to just talk.
It lasted an hour, although I didn’t notice. I think we’re ready to progress to video. That throws up a whole load of questions. Eating dinner alone in our respective living rooms feels funny. But drinking? That should help with the nerves. I’ve decided I’m going to dress up. When else am I going to get the chance to wear lipstick in the foreseeable future?
I stopped digital dating because it all felt so transient. A place for fun and a quick ego boost, but nothing deeper. I’m not sure if my opinion has changed although we’re in such a state of uncertainty now, I wonder if we’re all being more honest online. There’s no time for bravado and bullshit, none of that matters, and just being fit simply won’t cut it… I want to know how you’re coping as the world collapses, to hear something real.
This story is from a series by Michael Segalov, called Love in the time of corona: ‘This wasn’t how I planned it, but she said yes’, written for the Guardian Newspaper, 12th April 2020.
“Imagine being separated from the one you love. Or stuck with the one you don’t, or being alone? Stories of the heart from behind quarantined walls”
Original Guardian article URL: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/apr/12/love-in-the-time-of-corona-stories-of-the-heart-told-from-behind-quarantined-walls
Guardian Homepage: https://www.theguardian.com/