Guardian Homepage: https://www.theguardian.com/
A Guardian guest story written by Michael Segalov, from the story of Aaron, 32, hospital secretary, Texas.
It was only six weeks ago – after working a late shift at my hospital job – that I found out my husband was cheating on me. He wasn’t responding to my texts and I was worried he’d had another road traffic accident (he wrote off our old car a month earlier), so when my shift ended I used the vehicle tracking software built into the new car to check in on him. I found his car, and watched him leave her apartment block.
We got married six years ago in June, but turns out he’d been at it for years. I left our home to stay with friends and family. I needed space to think – and to work out a plan. Six days later, and still in shock, I got a call: my grandpa had died. I returned from the funeral prepared: we’d divorce and part ways forever. The marriage was over.
But just days after touching back down in Texas the pandemic hit. Both people I’d been staying with live in high-risk households, so I couldn’t go back to them. I work in a Covid-designated unit.
The problem is that he has nowhere to go – he’s alienated himself for years – and I can’t just throw him on to the street in this situation. Once this is over, he’ll be out the door, but I wouldn’t wish the virus on anyone. And anyway, I’d have had to change the locks to kick him out, and I’ve been working so many hours, there’s been no time to make it to the hardware store.
So I’m back living in the house with him, constantly drained and exhausted from all the overtime. I’ll talk with him about groceries and how we’re doing for money – and that is all. I think he knows better than to try and come near me, I can barely look at him. The only time I get alone is walking the dogs, or when I call my counsellor from my car in the driveway. It’s isolating and I’m hurting.
I’ve had to go into survival mode. I’m an extrovert by nature, hugs from loved ones are my fix-all. Not being able to be held closely because of the pandemic… it’s torture. I’m avoiding all unnecessary human contact, keeping clear of all public spaces, just in case I’m a carrier.
All I needed was some time – to sell our house, pay off my student debts, then start afresh – and instead I’m trapped living with the man who betrayed me.
This story is from a series by Michael Segalov, called Love in the time of corona: ‘This wasn’t how I planned it, but she said yes’, written for the Guardian Newspaper, 12th April 2020.
“Imagine being separated from the one you love. Or stuck with the one you don’t, or being alone? Stories of the heart from behind quarantined walls”
Original Guardian article URL: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/apr/12/love-in-the-time-of-corona-stories-of-the-heart-told-from-behind-quarantined-walls
Guardian Homepage: https://www.theguardian.com/