Look this complicated feelings have been literally hunting me for the past three years .
Three years ago I was accepted to the best high school in the state however I found my self obliged to move cities and live in dorm , supposedly with my best friend. Problems happened and I found my self leaving with an other person let’s call her B .
Okay things were great at first ,she made me feel like I was the most important person to her , we literally did everything together studying, cleaning and even eating till a new person appeared let’s call her F . Somehow things changed I became “the plan b” and I started hating my self for hating her because she was “too pure” to me and I was the villain who over complicate things dramatically.And yes I did talk to her trying to explain how I felt but she started crying saying that she didn’t mean to , which made me hate my self even more . I really tried to overcome her but I was like a kid who lost his beloved toy and I was literally living with her . This continued for two years, drawn in my own feelings and confusion. For this period of time she sometimes treats me line with love and sometimes she completely ignores me like I was nothing.
In the third year of high school things changed (she is still my roommate by the way) , F was abandoned by B and basically she moved on to another person ( by the way she was better the us in some ways) and here things changed I started thinking maybe I was not the bad guy maybe she was just a good manipulator , a hyena who sticks to someone who’s more powerful then him and lives and his leftovers .In they period of time , more people started talking to me proving my point . But to which level should I trust them . Actually, she is moving with this person next year living me without the option to rent a room with someone else .
This is going to be my last year of high school and the most important one because in my country, it does determine your whole future and I am seriously thinking about going back to my home city.
I really need help I can’t talk to my family because they see it as an insignificant issue and this is playing on my nerves and feelings . What do you think I should do and I am I just delusional annd dramatic about the whole thing .