Well here it is the story that flipped my life. 14th of May 2021, it was a sunny day and I was getting ready for school but I also had this weird feeling that something is about to happen. Well I was right 14th of May 2021 the day, my father died. My aunt told me what happened and I burst into tears but I insisted to go to school, my uncle drove me there. I just sat next to my friends I couldn’t even say what happened I just cried. After some time I told them and the next moment I was drinking wine and just sitting there in shock. That day we all went to our favorite place and just pretend that nothing happened. Since that day I was going to therapist and for a while I thought that this was helpful but I was wrong I was feeling so guilty and I was starting to think about my own death more and more. So the next thing that happened I went to a psychiatrist and I was diagnosed with depression. I tried to commit suicide multiple times even started to cut myself. I was scared of me I had and still have this episodes when I am not thinking straight. The back story is I never had a healthy relationship with my dad. My parents had these fights all the time and my mum had to go to a hospital because of that she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I blamed it on my dad. Then he left and went to other country but he always called us and doing everything for us but deep in me I knew I hated him. Every time when he got back home I was felling this anger and I was only making this fights about how ungrateful he was but the truth is that I was. I didn’t pick up when he was calling I didn’t replied to his messages and I hated it when we had to go and see him. Now I would give everything just to hug him one more time. I really don’t want to be here at this moment but I am trying because of my sister. I managed to graduate with perfect grades I got my driving license I applied for college and I got a job those things were so hard for me because when you have depression there are days when you really don’t want to do anything and hate yourself and even the smallest things are hard. So the point of my story is hug your dad while you can tell him how much you love him and be there for him no matter what because one day you will get up and he won’t be here anymore.
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