It took me four times to pass my driving test, during one of them I saw my examiner literally gripping on to the car door for dear life. In another of my test I managed to get three of my wheels on the other side of the road, in fairness it was a reverse around the corner on a difficult uphill lane, but still quite impressive.
When I eventually did pass, it was exactly two years after my theory test and so upon failing I would’ve had to redo my theory also. I had nothing left to lose (I would have just given up). I was very lucky to have had the money and resources to keep going when I was so clearly not a skilled or confident driver so I appreciate that, however now every time I drive I am filled with anxiety and fear. I am blown away that people are calm when driving as it is a death machine and simple mistake can mean loss of human life.
Since passing (four years ago) I have only driven a few times, two of them were for my job at university. I worked as a student ambassador and part of the job was driving to schools around the county and encouraging pupils to go to university through talks and games, on both occasions of me getting this job I was the only person who had a licence. I was given a rental car, an address of where to drive and one or two other student ambassadors to work with. I got to the car, introduced myself to the other two girls and we all climbed in, it was a Vauxhall moka. I hadn’t been behind the wheel for over a year so I was feeling nervous already but trying not to show it to the others – and I was doing a good job of it, until I tried to turn on the car. A few minutes went by of me searching around the steering wheel for the key hole. Bright red I turned to the other girls and explained my situation and awkwardly asked if they could help. One girl called her father and the other started looking through the manual, and I searched on google. It was at least ten minutes before we finally realised there was no keyhole but a button you had to press, hidden behind the wheel. Of course, that situation made me extremely uncomfortable and I felt very much on the back foot for the whole drive, but I got us there and back in one piece with no damage to the car.
The second time I received a job like this at uni I felt more prepared, I got to the car – a smaller car this time, with only one girl joining me. I was positive it would go better but somehow it still took me ten minutes to find the button and work out how to work the pedals with it to make it start. Again though, we got there and back safely.
Although I have never had a crash, or been in a crash (touch wood) so far in my life, I am extremely sensitive and aware of the dangers of getting behind the wheel, and baffled that many of my peers growing up in rural areas are not. So much so to the extent of drink and drug driving, having crashes and continuing to drive under the influence.
My latest driving trip was abroad this year, it was only an 8km journey yet it was through sharp winding mountain roads, uphill. I was terrified to say the least. I managed to reverse the car out of the parking spot, missing the kid kicking a ball, drive on the right side of the road the whole time and not stall once. I was over the moon, although couldn’t really relax as I had the drive back. My friend was very understanding and appreciated me taking it slow around the bends, yet still couldn’t resist filming me for a laugh. On the way back we passed five cars but it was all downhill so much easier and I made a point at beeping on every corner – no risks taken!
I’m glad I have my licence, just in case I need it for work or emergency’s but I’m still very scared every time I drive or even think about it. I know one day I’ll get a car and it will be nothing but for now I’ll put it off whenever I can.