About 2 or 3 years ago, I started noticing some things happening with my parents. They would talk together quietly and suspiciously, and they would hide their phones from me more. Being younger at the time, obviously these actions would make you want to know what was happening even more. I started to try to eavesdrop on their ‘quiet’ conversations. I know that this is an invasion of privacy, but again. I was young, and in a situation like this I couldn’t just let it go. One day, I heard my dad say something like “.. we have to do her…” or something like that. I can’t remember fully. This made me even more curious. I saw my parents hiding their phones more. I caught a glimpse of my dad’s screen once, and I saw a woman. Another time, my dad was playing piano and he had his phone on the stand, open to a chat room it seemed like. I saw this chat room on my dad’s phone multiple times. I thought the worst of it. One day, my dad left his phone on the counter and went upstairs to shower. I don’t know where my mom was. I went over to his phone and unlocked it. I wasn’t supposed to know his passcode, but I did. The first thing that popped up was a woman with blue hair. I remember this vividly. I recorded this. I was so scared, angry, annoyed, and guilty all at the same time. I explained the whole thing to my friend. I even sent her the video(s) of proof. This continued to happen. I saw an app on both of my parents phones from taking a peek over their shoulder. I was suspicious of that app. I went on to the App Store. I went to my parent’s “Purchased” folder. I was looking for the app I saw on their phone. Fortunately or unfortunately, I found it. It was a dating app. Not any dating app, a 3some dating app. I was shocked. I took a screenshot and sent it to my friend. I was scared, angry, annoyed, and guilty once again. Imagine this happening to you. You would feel the same way, wouldn’t you? Especially if you were young. I was in the car with my dad one day. He was texting someone. I looked over. Allison was the name. I only caught a small glimpse of the text message. It said something like ‘cutie’ and then heart emojis, etc. I knew my mom knew about this, because she had the same app. This made me confused and frustrated. I wanted to know what was going on. I filled my friend in. One day, my friend invited me to go to an arcade with her. I remember this day extremely well. Even thinking about it makes me regret everything. I wish I could go back and scold myself. I remember seeing my mom walking into the doors. I wondered why she was there, and she said firmly that we were going home. I asked if I was in trouble, because I always ask that. I guess I am paranoid. I remember her saying YES. My heart dropped. My heard pounded, I was frightened. I abandoned my friend out of the arcade. I even remember having to throw away the ice cream I was eating. When we got in the car, she went right into the interview. She knew what I did. I hated myself. I got home. My dad was waiting for me. They had my iPad on the couch, they sat me down. They showed me my videos, my text messages with my friends, everything. I had no excuse. I blocked the rest of the day out of my memory. It was a dreadful day. I remember talking to my mom about it in a mother daughter notebook. She called me nosy, which I could see where she was coming from. I hated myself. She said she would tell me if I wanted to know. I felt guilty, and I said it’s fine. I really wanted to know. I really did.
Fast forward to now. I forgot most of this, but something sparked my memory. I was working for my dad. He gave me his iPad to design something for our store. I went to the text messages to my mom and dad for a photo I needed. I shouldn’t have done that. I saw some things I didn’t want too. Nothing about the things I just explained, but they were talking about me. Not in a good way. This made me angry. This is what sparked my memory of the experience I had a few years back. I scrolled through my dad’s contacts. I saw “Allison”. It was far enough down in his contacts that I knew he didn’t text her for a while. I clicked on it. Pictures of my dad that was sent to her. She responded with something like, “You look so hot babe!” That was not my dad’s wife. That was not my mom. I guess the 3some person… this angered me. I saw a picture of Allison she sent to my dad. A picture of her and her friend I’m guessing, in dresses. They looked fancy. She explained she did something about dancing.. but the ending is what really caught my attention. “..practicing my dance moves for you..”. I hated this person immediately. I closed out of the messages, and I wanted to burst into tears. I hated myself, and my dad did this.. I couldn’t believe it. I know I shouldn’t have done it. But I did. They are past it, I think. But this still made me so angry. I hated it.
