I’m often called optimistic, it’s not something I’ve ever consciously tried to be but it’s a state of mind I always seem to have. I completely sympathise with pessimistic people, life is often cruel and unfair, we’re ruled by greedy and selfish psychopaths and every year another crisis seems to spring up, each worse than the last and each in the shadow of the big one, climate change.
But pessimism for me is self-defeating, it is the partner of despair, it make us cynical and curbs our determination to make things better due to a mindset that says, nothing is going to change, cause that’s just the way it is.
So, let me tell you my story of 2020 and why I’ve never been more optimistic.
I’m a writer/director, I make commercials to pay the bills and have been trying to secure funding for a short film script for near 18 months now. At the start of the year things were going okay, I’d secured a few commercial projects that would sustain me for several months and I was pretty sure I would be connected with a Producer at a networking event I’d applied to go to. By mid-February things were not going to plan, all 3 of my commercial project were cancelled or postponed within 2 days and I was rejected from attending the networking event. This put me in an extremely desperate situation, not only was I broke but the thing I’d been working towards (making my film) had been dealt a huge setback.
Now as someone who usually just figures things out, I was left reeling and unsure what to do, I was in a pretty dark place for a couple weeks, unable to get out of bed and devoid of all the confidence I usually had.
I think in this moment as well, a lot of the pain and anguish I had came to the surface, you see I gave a huge amount of time and energy to the Labour Party during the election and during the campaign I made some great friendships. An amazing community spirit was built and it was heartbreaking to see what that defeat did to people, when the result came in my first thought was the wellbeing of everyone else and I think in trying to be there for everyone I forgot about myself and didn’t process what happened properly.
By the end of February I needed to make something happen, so I put a call out on Facebook and told everyone my situation and if anyone could help me I’d be extremely grateful.
People didn’t disappoint. I was offered some data entry work for a month by a friend who I’d met during the election and I was invited to Liverpool at the end of March to meet a production company and Ken Loach by another friend I’d met during the election. Added to this I had messages of support, offers to buy food and give me money, it was truly humbling and made me realise the strength of community that had been built and that I was connected to.
March was going nicely and then I like so many I began to notice this behemoth on the horizon. It was a strange transformation, I remember coronavirus wasn’t taken seriously by many people in February, there was very little panic but it began to swell and build until it was overflowing.
By Mid-March I was certain a lockdown would be coming soon, so me and my girlfriend decided she should go back and stay with her parents, they live out in the middle of nowhere and we were in agreement that this lockdown could go on for a long time and she should be there for them in case anything happened. It was a tough decision to make as we didn’t know how long we’d be apart but it seemed like the best thing to do. I’m lucky that my brother lives near my Mum so she had support if she needed it and as my sister was still nearby at university I decided to stay put.
Now I was fully aware that isolation can play havoc with the mind, I’d only just got back to being myself again and I didn’t want to slip back into the state I’d been weeks before, especially as work had again dried up and my trip to Liverpool was postponed indefinitely.
Just before the lockdown I set up a mutual-aid group, I did a call out for volunteers and advertised picking up shopping/prescription throughout our area, connecting with local charities and food banks. I had 100 volunteers come forward and to date we’ve done over 300 deliveries in the last month to self-isolating and a lot of the time vulnerable older members of the community. We weren’t alone, the creation of thousands of mutual-aid groups all over the country, of millions of pounds in funds raised, of PPE being sourced or created for our key workers has completely transformed society. Despite the tragedy that is unfolding and yes I blame this entirely on those in charge, communities have come together and taken care of each other.
Almost in the blink of an eye things that were often seen as impossible have changed over night. Homelessness has been eradicated, workers are able to work from home, the unskilled are now key and we’ve seen who really keeps the country running. Right now there is a spirit rippling through society of togetherness, cooperation and a belief that things can’t go back to the way they were before. Since this lockdown began I’ve never been so connected to so many people, a lot of nonsense in life seems to have been washed away for now and so I’m talking to my family everyday, I’m speaking with friends regularly and I’m part of groups up and down the country organising to make things better and think of ways to make this happen. I’m extremely privileged to be in a safe home, have no immediate financial worries and be connected to so many amazing people. I’m optimistic because when a crisis was sprung upon us, we came together, sure they reported panic buying and the odd person flaunting the lockdown rules, but the majority has decided, let’s take care of one another and that gives me hope that beyond coronavirus, our community, our society and everyone in it will not allow a return to normal but will in fact demand something better. I’m often called an optimist and I’ll tell you how you can be to. Connect with people you care about, connect with your community and quickly you’ll see how a better world is created, how hope becomes action and quickly you shake off becoming a pessimist and become an optimist like me.